I think we can all agree that certain professions need a degree. We are not saying a degree isn’t necessary, but in some cases the individual hasn’t been able to get a degree (for one reason or another) but still wants to be fiscally responsible and effective in his or her community.

I recently made a new connection on LinkedIn and was even more excited to share him with you all after our initial conversation because of his energy, passion, and drive for the work he does.

Jonaed Iqbal is the Owner / Operator of NoDegree.  A company that specializes in helping individuals with NO DEGREE land some lucrative jobs in a variety of industries.

Jonaed is a YouMap® certified career coach and has worked with over 350 candidates, many of whom have gotten jobs/interviews at places like Amazon, Google, Microsoft, Meta, Spotify and more.

He is also the host of The NoDegree Podcast where he interviews people without college degrees and has them share their stories so others can follow in their path.

Jonaed helps individuals achieve their dreams by maximizing their strengths, talents, and drive. Helping them land jobs that catapult them into careers where their passion lies.

We hope to encourage you on your journey, especially if it means you don’t have a degree.  With the costs of higher education rising, perhaps you could use a little encouragement in your day!

Here’s to Growing Forward Together as we encourage, empower and equip others to live their dreams.

Blessings,

Kinita

Lately there have been many conversations about friendships and how they work…and in some cases, don’t work.  Especially among women.  So I thought I would share a unique perspective that would help you do better in your friendships! It has certainly helped me in my some of my more difficult friendships.

If you were to view friendships as a way to plant seeds in the heart of another.  What kinds of seeds will you plant?

I am really passionate about women empowerment and since moving to India, the opportunities are endless. But I have also discovered some old wounds being reopened while a deeper healing taking place.

The secret to empowering women, is to empower young girls. Healthy friendships among women, are always full of empowering and encouraging each other. Not competition, jealousy, criticism, or gossip.  I have many women who choose that road and I have learned to keep safe and healthy boundaries in those relationships.

So below is the full article for you to read and hopefully it will encourage you in your journey!

I have a new friend – one who has over the months, become so enamored with me.  

At first, I was flattered. But then I began to see a bigger purpose behind this new friendship. 

Who is she?  She is the 14-year-old daughter of our regular rickshaw driver.

Whenever he picks us up, she insists on coming along. Especially when she has a holiday from school.  I have, on many occasions, readjusted our pickup time to include her on our drives.  Other times, she randomly calls me “just to say HI!”. 

She always looks at me with bright eyes and a smile that goes from ear to ear.  Her joy has really been good for me, especially on my hard days.  She helps me improve my Hindi and has asked me to help her improve her English, since she is in an English-medium school.

I am a business owner, an international author, speaker, and coach and my plate can be quite full some days.  But a ride with her or a visit to her family’s vegetable stand is often a highlight in my day.

So why do I feel the need to share this story?

Because it is all about women empowerment!  A topic very close to my heart.

I know she is only fourteen and is still several years away from being a full-fledged woman. However, the principle of empowering women begins with making and taking opportunities to encourage them while they are still in their teen years.  These early efforts will hopefully help them grow into their potential as women. 

Planting seeds in their stories, sharing lessons, laughing, and talking about the simple things in life will build strength and confidence in their hearts. I know, because I had a few women who did that for me when I was her age.

It brings me great joy to pour out love and acceptance into this young lady.  I have the privilege of being for her what I needed at that age in very informal ways. Even though she is one of four daughters in her family, and seems deeply loved by her parents, like all girls in their teens, she needs other examples of how to live into dreams and goals.

“Be who you needed when you were younger!”  This phrase is as simple as that, especially if you have grown well in your story. This is a phrase and principle that I hold close to my heart. Now that I am well into my 50’s, there will always be people who are still in a season I have crossed through.

Since relocating to India in 2021, I have been blessed with many opportunities of giving back in this way. I have the privilege of being “who I needed” to Indian girls and younger women.  This is very humbling for sure.  I don’t have all the answers, but I know how to listen, encourage, help them to be seen, empower them, and support them in ways that I am all too familiar with from my own childhood.

I may never see these planted seeds grow to maturity, but I do know I need to keep being faithful in any opportunity that comes my way.

My most recent book, “I Am Third: Redeeming the Pain” (published in February 2022 and found on Amazon in USA, Canada, and the UK. I also have printed copies here in India) will be a great asset for your journey to grow and learn how to pour out to others. 

Please email me through the Seema Global Consulting website to connect with me personally for questions, comments or to book me for a speaking event. 

How about you?

What kind of friend are you?

Who in your story needs what you have been blessed with?

What did you need when you were younger?  How did that need get filled?

Who are you being called to empower?

Here’s to planting seeds in the hearts of others as we grow in our friendships!!

Blessings,

Kinita

In February 2022, I released my second book called I Am Third: Redeeming the Pain

This book is about our journey through parenting and adoption lived and written through the lens of our interracial marriage, multicultural and multiethnic family.

Found on Amazon in the USA, Canada and the UK. I have several copies here in India for those interested.

In every adoption story there are many people intimately involved. Bio parents, bio relatives, adoptive parents, foster parents and families, adoption agencies and services all around to help support the process and the child(ren) involved.

However, the first and primary decision begins with the Birth Mother when she chooses adoption for her child(ren).  Even though there are multiple reasons why a mother would choose this route, I have learned to not judge her for doing so, instead learning to walk alongside in any way I could.

I also am an adoptive parent and by reading my book, I believe you will come to understand the ups and downs of such an incredible opportunity to love a child created in another woman’s womb.  And about the journey to healing we all experienced as a result.

I debated about making the title “A birth mother’s journey TO adoption” but the reality is that their journey doesn’t stop there…it grows THROUGH the adoption process.

Sue Hinojosa is a friend, mother, daughter, sister, widow, and birth mother. Sue is a podcast host for the show Positive Choice Adoption through Adoption Associates.

Although her story reveals many mountain tops and several valleys, she remains faithful to her faith in God. She has worked in the Title Insurance/Real Estate industry for 22 years. Sue is now a solo parent to their 15 year old son, since losing her husband Tony to Cancer.

As an international author and speaker, I thoroughly enjoy getting feedback from my audience and readers.  After my second book I Am Third: Redeeming the Pain was released in February 2022, I faced the common post-launch rollercoaster of emotions.

If you are a fellow author or influencer, you understand.  We need feedback to understand what kind of an impact we are making when we share our content.  This helps us stay-the-course or make necessary changes that will help all of us grow forward.

While I received silence from some people, I thought would have celebrated with me, I also received pictures and meaningful text messages from friends and family around the world showing their excitement and support for this raw and honest project I had worked on for the past five years.

One evening, we had our friend over for dinner, Jerry Hughes , Founder of The Hughes Foundation, and director of the House of Hope (Nagpur, Maharashtra, India).  As our conversation continued to be raw, open, and vulnerable, he shared that he was also gleaning a lot from my new book! I was completely caught off guard and immediately asked him to share more about how it was impacting him.

Why was I caught off guard and surprised?

Jerry was not the “reader” I imagined while I wrote this book. I was thinking of mothers, adoptees, young adults, caregivers and (in all honesty), none of them were single white males.  Who knows, perhaps this was a bias being revealed in me.  However, as an author, it is always important to be clear about our audience when writing, and he wasn’t what I envisioned at all.  Actually, I didn’t even meet him till we relocated to India in 2021, where I took the final steps before sending it to print.

Behind the scenes on recording day.

That conversation gave me the inspiration to kickoff Season 3 of my podcast Growing Forward Together and have a reader interview me.  Jerry’s personality is very similar to mine, so I thought we would have fun with this idea, and WE DID!!  He immediately jumped at the idea, we prepared a few questions to reveal insights about the book, why I chose the title and who would benefit from buying it…and well…the video Interview shares it all!!

If you are interested in talking to me personally about the content in this book or other services we provide at Seema Global Consulting, please connect with me directly through my website.  Looking forward to hearing from you!!

Blessings, Kinita

Here’s to Growing Forward Together as we share feedback to encourage influencers in our story!!

Video Recording: Akash Lal

Post Production: Caleb Sardar

Audio Recording: Joseph Newton

As a continuation of my series on “My 10 Hats”, I am addressing the impact of living in India as a wife.  This is the second in (hopefully) a series of ten blogs.  The process of writing these blogs has been very cathartic for me and quite informational for many readers (or so they tell me).

[Disclaimer:  Being a wife is one of the hats I wear and I am writing this through the lens of our heterosexual and interracial marriage between my husband and me. Your narrative might not be the same, but as I make cultural connections, it is important for me to clarify that as well. I hope that you can still relate to some of my process.]

Never in a million years did I imagine that I would even get married, let alone relocate to my birth country in my early fifties. Our marriage of almost thirty years and parenting our four children into adulthood has brought me to a place of deep evaluation and appreciation for my husband and our marriage.

In this new transitional season into a new (yet familiar) culture, I am realizing the many layers of my role as a wife is being challenged. From expectations to desires to responsibilities, I am needing to constantly adjust my approach in a variety of situations.  Over the years, I have addressed and processed the negative messages that I received in my childhood that impacted my role as a wife. And now, even though my husband and I agree about our roles and responsibilities, this relocation to India, is challenging us to work harder to maintain them.

On numerous occasions, I have been told directly or indirectly one or more of the following phrases.  Many of them I have heard throughout our marriage, but being immersed in this old yet familiar culture is somehow bringing them back into the limelight.

“A good wife should….”

“A loving wife would…”

“A proper wife should…”

“Wives are expected to…”

“Married women are expected to…”

…and the list goes on.

Don’t get me wrong, I am committed to my husband and want to be the best wife for him, but I cannot have someone or something outside of our marriage decide or direct what that will look like.  That includes my birth culture and the ones I grew up in. this is just one of the many challenges I face as a third-culture-kid! (Aka: TCK)

Together, my husband and I believe it is important to allow our faith to inform how we should build our marriage and always allow each other the freedom to live into our unique personalities, being mindful to embrace healthy attitudes and life choices. Our faith is not outside our marriage; it is the foundation for our relationship and is the glue that keeps us together.

Over the years, we have mentored and counseled many couples preparing for marriage or couples that were further along in their marriage.  Our goal was to help them to stay true to who they are individually and collectively as a couple. We were intentional (and continue to be) in passing on to them what worked and what didn’t work in our marriage in hopes that they would find strength and restoration in theirs.  We continue to discover some behaviours that don’t work in our marriage but we remain intentional in learning new ways to navigate them in the different seasons.

Queue cultural collision here now that we have relocated to India.

When I address the “foundation” of a marriage in a conversation, I am told that generally here in India, marriages are rooted and based on cultural norms. Whether an individual likes them or not, they tend to default to the expectations of the culture, rather than discovering their own uniqueness.  This, then, has the potential for an individual to lose sight of who they are.  If that describes you, I would like to encourage you to consider a different perspective, since you both enter the relationship with a different family culture and overall different background.

I would like to suggest that you have a conversation with your spouse (where appropriate) on how you might like to live out your marriage.   This allows both of you to live into your authentic selves, based on what the “foundation” looks like in your story – assuming you have one.

I had a conversation about this topic of “adjusting to family cultures” with a friend and she was concerned that she might be disrespecting his and her parents somehow. I completely understand why she felt that way.  Respect and honour for parents” is highly regarded and lived out in many unique ways in the Indian culture. I assured her that she could continue to live out these strong values to her parents by showing them she was following in their footsteps of building a healthy home environment for her, her husband, and her children.

Sometimes people think that respect and honour can only be delivered in certain ways, but that is not the case at all.  If we carry those values in our hearts, it is from that place that our actions will be impacted.  Since we are all unique, we will display those values uniquely. Question is, will others receive our efforts?

Understanding and building a healthy foundation in your marriage gives homage to your parents that they have raised their children well. When you simply copy the culture, you have the potential to repeat mistakes and bad choices as well.  No culture is perfect with its nuances.  (See chapter titled “The Impact of Culture on Trauma” in my book “I Am Third: Redeeming the Pain).  When you build a clear foundation for your marriage or long-term relationship you can flex with the expectations and responsibilities that come from generations past.

Earlier this month, I was given the opportunity to have a book interview  with Times of India – Nagpur about my new book “I Am Third: Redeeming the Pain” (A journey of Parenting and Adoption).  During the interview, the reporter asked me how my book would be beneficial in this Indian context for marriages and those living with multigenerational relationships in the home?  Since my response for this did not get written into the article, I thought I would share it in this blog. In the chapter titled “Marriage Matters”, I empower the readers to build the connection between themselves and their spouse…no matter the environment.

Building healthy boundaries while being a cheerleader and supporter of your spouse, especially in Indian multigenerational families where expectations run high, is a great place to start.  At the end of that chapter I wrote out forty-five questions that will help you and your spouse or partner grow closer together.  Perhaps even after stirring up “some heated discussions”, as one reader shared with me, it will still benefit your relationship.  She also added that the questions “revealed some deeper truths about their relationship”, ones they are using to continue to grow forward in a healthy way.

Relocating is challenging in many ways.  However, in my role as a wife, it has enhanced my confidence to live into my authentic self while also empowering other women to help them find their value as wives. But in the end, I am glad to have entered this new season with my husband by my side, cheering for US along the way!!

NOTE:  To my readers who are single, married or in long term relationships and could use a little direction in your story, my book will equip you with questions you can use to better yourself and even use in your relationships, whether they are friendships or of a romantic nature.

Please contact me through the website for more information on how Transformational Coaching can help or if you are interested in scheduling me as a speaker. 

Here’s to Growing Forward Together as we live authentically in our marriages and long-term relationships! 

Blessings,

Kinita

Hey friends, it’s OFFICIAL, my second book titled, “I Am Third: Redeeming the Pain” (A Journey through Parenting and Adoption), has ARRIVED and is NOW finally available for YOU to purchase on Amazon (in over 11 countries), and ONLINE at Barnes & Noble and Walmart!

As an international author and speaker, I have been writing this book for the past five years in between running Seema Global Consulting and adjusting to other major life events that included a relocation to India from the USA.

The material and experiences I share about, span our 25-year parenting journey and almost 30-year marriage relationship bringing us to a place where we could share our story through the lens of our multiracial, multiethnic, and multicultural marriage and family.

Writing this book was truly a labour of love and how appropriate that it is released in the month that holds Valentine’s Day too!!

Cover. The back has messages of blessing from our four children!

I chose the title, “I Am Third: Redeeming the Pain” because I am a third child in my family, and I am the “third” parent in our adopted daughter’s story.

Over the years, it has become very clear to me that this journey of parenting children from my womb and another one through adoption has been a process by which much of my childhood pain was redeemed in my story amidst many other life lessons.

Our marriage and parenting journey revealed there was so much to acknowledge, relinquish and receive, all of it allowing me to heal in deep places.

Let me be clear that I didn’t have children so I could heal.  Our children became the healing I wasn’t aware I needed.

Here is an excerpt from Ken’s message in the Preface of my book: “Looking in the rearview mirror is always a good opportunity to reflect on where we’ve been and what brought us to where we are today.  This book is a look in the rearview mirror and is an opportunity to share with you, the reader, what has been learned from hard work, successes, and failures.”

Through our brokenness came beauty and I hope I was able to capture it in a way that propels you to grow forward in your story as well and seek the hope and healing you might desire.

I wrote this book for you…and for me.

#LiveYourStory

SPECIAL THANKS TO: 

Ken Schripsema: my husband, life partner, initial editor before I turned in the manuscript and the collector of the many emotions I had while writing this book! For the many times you reminded me of my calling as a parent, my calling to write the book and for the many times you prayed over me so I could keep going.

Caleb, Josh, Seth, and Victorianna for your forgiveness, love, patience, encouragement, support, understanding and prayers for this project and more importantly, THANK YOU for allowing me the freedom to BE ME and express my heart through this vulnerable and raw process.

Publisher:  Tim Beals from Credo Communications

Family Picture on back of book:  Deb Sardar

Cover & Release Video:  Swapnil Shinde from SquareFix Media

Initial Promo Video: Jerry Vreeman

Printer in India: Ankit Nangia from Dattsons Publishers & Distributors

For more information, availability for speaking opportunities, or any questions you might have please feel free to contact me:

Email: info@seemaglobalconsulting.com

Website: Seema Global Consulting

Here’s to Growing Forward Together!!

Blessings,

Kinita

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

As we approached the end of one year and the start of another, some have said that 2022 sounds like “2020 also”.  Read, “twenty-twenty-too”.

For those like myself who loves puns, I see the humour in that but also feel like it carries a lot of weight. We can joke about 2022 being a repeat of 2020 with words. However, when we look back and remember what many of us endured in 2020 with the onset of the COVID-19 pandemic, and the impact it had on us individually and as a community and world, I imagine none of us want a repeat!

As I contemplated how to capture this new year and new season, three words came to me in my sleep.

Strength. Connect. Learn.

Strength gained from experiences we have had from years past. Especially, since 2020 amidst a global pandemic that doesn’t seem to have an end to it.

Connect the experiential dots since all of it matters. New connections, new pathways, new opportunities, new lessons, new blessings amidst new challenges because of a pandemic.

Learn from yesterday’s choices and mistakes so you can grow forward into tomorrow.  Or in this case, a new year.

Ask yourself, what didn’t work? What did work? What do you want to do differently?  Where do you want to invest better? What matters most and why?  Who or what gets in the way of you taking the leap and growing forward?

STRENGTH…

For me, 2021 was filled with great memories and some personal challenges that I learned to overcome.

A transition to a new country and learning to balance family relationships and friendships from a distance while adapting to our surrounding relationships has been quite the learning curve. While my work has taken a pause in many areas, I continue to run towards the goals set before me and run my race at my own pace.

On many occasions, my strength was challenged and to my surprise — and my husband’s — I pushed through. 2021 was filled with moments that strengthened my faith and my marriage and I am excited for this new year of adventures with Ken!

CONNECT…

Connectedness is my number one strength from the Clifton Strengths Test so it seems like everything has a connection for me. Relocating to my birth country is providing me with a lot of connections to my childhood – smells, sights, language, words.  In fact, the other day I was talking with a friend about speaking and understanding Hindi and Marathi (local languages spoken here), and how different and challenging it can be to understand and not speak one over the other.  As I clarified some words and phrases with her, I discovered that I use some Marathi words when I speak Hindi, thinking that they were Hindi words in the first place.  We had a good laugh and I decided that from now on, I will say, “I speak Hindi, but I also speak Marathi, I just don’t know when!”

As a child, my parents would speak to us in Hindi, and we would respond in English. Since I was born in Pune, Maharashtra, where my mother’s family is from, she would speak Marathi to her relatives. As a result, I learned to understand that language but not speak it. I am thankful for the patience people are showing me here but completely understand if they are laughing inside…I am too!

Sadly, many relational connections were fractured or broken during the pandemic due to lockdowns, restrictions, being for or against vaccinations, politics, relocating and the list goes on.  Perhaps some of those relationships weren’t as strong as we thought they were. Learning to watch for and enjoy connections in the small things has brought me great joy and peace in this journey, realizing that sometimes the small connections actually carry more significance.

LEARN…

I can’t express enough the importance to keep learning!  Where are my fellow learners? Everyday is filled with something to learn if we are paying attention.  Learn from your past so you can live differently in the future.  Since this is the start of a new year, I guess we can say a part of our future has begun.

Learn from others, strangers, friends, neighbours, and children — yours or those in your story. Make this the year you learn a new skill, a new trade, a new job, a new language or about a different culture than yours (we can help get you started with our Understanding Culture Workshops. Although I am Indian, embracing all parts of the culture here has been a challenge. However, learning what works and doesn’t work here is allowing me to respond offensively and not get defensive when I experience something different than I would appreciate.

Be sure to learn from yourself and your story as well because your choices and mistakes are the best place to learn some lifelong lessons. Learning to live into our best selves is the best gift we can give to others.

Make 2022 the year you express your authentic self unapologetically; you won’t regret it.  It might challenge some of your relationships, as it did in my story, so be sure to do it with grace, respect, patience, love, kindness, and a healthy dose of confidence. Not sure how to get there? Let’s connect and we can talk about how Transformational Coaching can equip and empower you for your journey.

Here’s to Growing Forward Together in 2022 by finding strength in the places we have felt weak, connecting in big and small ways, and learning how to live unapologetically authentic!

Blessings,

Kinita

Photo Credit: Deb Sardar

In June of 2021 we relocated to India from the USA and this major transition has me thinking of my adult children often. As they continue to journey forward in their stories in the USA, I am proud of them for staying true to their callings and thankful to be able to continue to live into mine!

Although I am thankful for technology that provides us a way to stay connected, we are all being challenged to be more intentional with our relationships.

I became a mother for the first time in 1996 and this path of motherhood wasn’t always easy and understood for me. I struggled a lot in the beginning with finding my way and what was best for our family. I think many of you mothers out there will agree that much of motherhood is “on-the-job-training”!

To be honest, I went into motherhood well prepared with “what not to do” so learning “what to do” was really led by the needs of the child(ren) we had. Our four children taught me so many different lessons and required levels of understanding in a variety of areas so I would often seek outside resources such as mentors, counselors and parenting experts for guidance.

The role of a mother in the Indian culture is very revered and is held to a high standard. The respect and honour that is given is almost always public. This level of respect is also a belief that I have held deep in my heart throughout the years and can see how it has sometimes impacted my expectations in a negative way.

Although I have seen it lived out in a similar way in Western culture, in the Indian culture generally the mothers do a lot for their children and their families. While this provides great comfort and support for the family, the idea of “doing for” the child(ren) seems to continue well into their adult years. In Western culture, this ongoing “doing for” is called “helicopter parenting”; a sense of hovering by the parent(s).  Initially, this is where the disappointment was communicated to me. That I wasn’t “doing for” our children by still taking care of them into their adult years.  However, as I grew in my understanding of this cultural nuance, I began to recognize its roots and the “why” behind the it.

While raising children who are a product of a multicultural, multi-ethnic, multi-racial marriage, I learned that raising them in a Western environment would require me to modify my expectations.  I am proud and thankful for our four children and the amount of respect they give me. But since returning to my place of birth, I am just now realizing how important it was to me and where the root of it came from!

Photo Credit: Deb Sardar

When we first arrived here, I was often asked, “where are your children”? In some cases, my response was met with disappointment. I wasn’t offended by it because I have already received a lifetime of messages of “not being good enough”. I have learned that I am enough for my family and their opinion matters the most.

In the Indian culture, generally a girl will stay with her parents until she gets married and then she will go and live with her husband in his family’s home. A young man will stay in his home until he gets married and then he will bring his bride home to live with him and his family.

In contrast, in Western culture, generally a boy or girl has, not only the freedom to, but is often encouraged to leave home after high school – around the age of 18 – to go to college or to live independently. The goal is to discover the world for themselves with the hope that they are prepared with everything they have learned from their parents and other adult role models.

As an Indian girl, growing up in the Western culture, I was greatly influenced with the idea of autonomy and left my family’s home at 21 years of age to finish college and then eventually move to the USA to get married. I really valued the autonomy I experienced, while also learning that I was not living up to Indian cultural expectations. It was a difficult season for me that spanned decades, but I eventually learned that I could not adhere to some of my Indian culture’s expectations because of certain circumstances, and I would have to learn to adapt. Unfortunately, adapting to new environments not only invited ongoing disappointment from some people but also required assimilating into environments I didn’t feel like I fit into.

To live authentically into the cultural and ethnic diversity of our family, my husband and I chose to encourage autonomy for our children from a very young age. We knew and appreciated the value of autonomy from our stories and wanted them to experience the benefits of it as well. We came to believe that preparing the child for adult autonomy should be the goal and should therefore shape how we parented each child. Of course, we were conscious of how each child was uniquely created, what their specific needs, talents, gifts, and abilities were, to adequately prepare them for the world they were to enter.

Now that we have relocated to a different country, I am thankful for our approach because they have proven to have the necessary tools to thrive and live independently while maintaining a healthy connection to us as their parents.

For me, being a mother is a calling and not a job, as some people see it, but in a humorous way, I would say, “I was trying to work myself out of my job!”. I will never stop being their mother and they will always be my children. However, my role in their lives continues to be redefined as they get older.

Redefining roles suggests change, and I know that not everyone likes to change. But the reality is, “change” is all around us. Every minute of every day, we are needing to learn to adapt to changes that will help us live healthy lives well into our senior years and will allow us to pass on healthier perspectives to our children.  The question is, “what are you willing to do about it?”

To you mothers reading this…Here’s to growing forward in your “mothering” as I continue to grow forward in mine, in this new culture with healthier expectations and support all around!!

Reflection:

How do you view your role as a mother?

What are some learned behaviours that you wish you could change?

What are some expectations that need healthier boundaries in your story?

Blessings,

Kinita

Since I have lived cross-culturally from the age of five, understanding culture has been a huge passion of mine for many years.

I am what is termed a “third culture kid” (TCK) because I was born in one country (India), moved to another as a young child (Canada) and then moved to a third country (USA) in my early 20’s.

As of June 2021, I have relocated back to my birth country and am discovering that some of my experiences and perspectives don’t always fit here.  After living in the West for the past 48+ years, I am seeing a huge shift in how this culture is impacting my roles.

Although I know I belong, I am learning to navigate how and where I fit.  Being a TCK usually means that a person is living in a country that isn’t their country of origin.

But in my case, this is my country of origin and my return to live here after so many decades make much of it feel very foreign to me.  It has been good to grow in my understanding around each of these “hats” so I can learn to navigate this new season of my story, but to also engage more effectively with those around me.

Because of the weight of this topic, I have decided to write several consecutive blogs with each blog highlighting two hats and how the culture has specifically made an impact on each of these areas of my life.  Each “hat” has a correlating picture.

Artist: Deb Sardar

Before I go any farther, I want to give a special THANK YOU to very special 17-year-old artist, Deb Sardar, for her incredible drawings that not only captured so much of my heart but also helped me to pen these messages.

In some cases, she took an actual photograph I had and turned it into a masterpiece.  Other pieces were her original ideas.  She is a native of India who also carries a multiethnic and multicultural narrative in her story, and as an artist, she really heard my heart and created pieces that fit accordingly.

[Be sure to SUBSCRIBE to my blog so you get automatic emails of these updates.  I assure you; you won’t want to miss out on all this great learning!!]

Back to hats…we often silently reflect on all the “hats” we wear and how we must juggle our personality under all those hats.  It can be quite daunting, but those who are close to me know I love a good challenge.  I am writing this blog in hopes that it will encourage you to learn to live into your best self and will deepen your understanding of your own “hats” within the culture that you are in.

“WHO AM I?”   This is often one of the first questions I ask my clients to answer as we navigate their narratives and help them achieve their goals.  Many times, they are stumped and end up telling me “What they do” and not “Who they are”.  There are a variety of reasons why this is the case, but I have noticed that on more than one occasion it is because they haven’t taken the time to self-reflect.  In some cases, individuals I have spoken with or clients I have coached, are in the habit of allowing others to define who they are, or they have allowed their turbulent and traumatic circumstances to write the story for them.

I have learned that understanding our “hats”, how our identity is impacted by them, what they are rooted in , and how the surrounding culture has influenced them is an overall helpful process to undertake.

The “hats” or roles I have are as follows: I am a daughter, sister, wife, mother, mother-in-law, grandmother, friend, coach/mentor, business owner, and Indian-born Westerner.  I am wearing all these “hats” and all-the-while relearning how to juggle my personality under those labels in a culture that has different expectations than the one, I grew up in.  My faith also informs me on how and where to make necessary changes and fuels me to endure the challenges that come along the way.

I am happy to say that my core is staying constant while often being met with disappointment by some because I am not meeting their expectations.  I think they secretly hope that I will completely change back to my Indian identity.  To the disappointment of some, I cannot completely change but I will learn to adapt and continue to live into being unapologetically, authentically ME!

My years in Western culture taught me that complete assimilation can be very damaging to an individual and doesn’t necessary allow a person to celebrate their uniqueness amidst the diversity. Now that I’m back in my birth country, I am reaping the benefits of a deeper understanding of my cultural identity.

Maintaining your uniqueness in any culture can be difficult, for a variety of reasons.  But if you are a people pleaser or one who assimilates out of a need for acceptance, it can be even more challenging.   I know this because I was one of those people when I moved from Canada to the USA.

I am thankful for the decades of living in the West, which taught me much and gave me the tools and approaches on how to avoid those and other pitfalls. These tools and approaches can also help you live into your authentic self and to walk in confidence with the labels that you carry.

Let’s CONNECT about Transformational Coaching or to learn more about our

Understanding Culture Workshops if you are interested in learning how!!

Here’s to GROWING FORWARD TOGETHER as we learn to live unapologetically authentic lives!!

Reflection:

Where do you struggle with “fitting in” and / or “belonging”?

How do you respond when external expectations collide with your values?

What messages does your culture give you that impact your identity in positive or negative ways?

Blessings,

Kinita

Big changes here at Seema Global Consulting…and it is finally time to let you know!! ????

In June 2021, we relocated to Nagpur, Maharashtra, India and are absolutely loving it!

So many great opportunities to network and grow our business and amazing ways to give back to the community through our CSR efforts. For those who don’t know, CSR stands for “Corporate Social Responsibility” and it allows us opportunities to serve in ways we love to!

As a native of India, having returned to my birth country 48+ years later with my husband, has been quite a learning curve.  My heart and mind are opening to many good and not-so-good memories.  Overall, I am continuously reminded that “nothing is wasted”!!

BLOG:

Since I am an international author and speaker, I decided to SEPARATE the Blog and Podcast pages so I can invest in more writing.

I have a variety of topics to share about in the coming weeks!!

A NEW BOOK is in the works, and from time to time, I might share snippets and updates here!

PODCAST:

COMING SOON…Season 3 with a fresh new sound, some great guests and topics.  As usual, I am always open to suggestions for topics, so please connect with me if you have some!!

We have some NEW and IMPROVED workshops and speaking topics, both virtual and in-person.  Let’s connect if you or your organization is in need of a speaker.

I hope you continue this journey with me…

• If you choose to leave, you will be missed but I understand!! THANK YOU  for being part of my journey so far and wish you the best in your future.
• For those who are staying, THANK YOU, I look forward to continuing this adventure with you.
• For those new to this platform, THANK YOU for joining and I WELCOME you to connect through our Contact page at our Website.

LIKE, SHARE and FOLLOW us on Facebook Business Page, LinkedIn and now INSTAGRAM Business, I am also a coach on the Zaphire App / JobsTVIndia channel.

Here’s to Growing Forward Together as we all learn more about our stories and continue to live into our best selves!!

Blessings,

Kinita Seema Schripsema